Eradicating Endlessly

The text of this sonnet can be seen at the end of this reflection.

A reader expressed some discomfort with this sonnet for two reasons.  I realize that many if not most readers could have the same discomfort, so I will address it as a way to reflect on what usefulness I see in this poem.  Before I do, though, I suggest you take two minutes to watch the video.

Their discomfort: On the one hand, wine and chocolate are not problems to them.  On the other hand, guilt and shame are serious problems and this poem pushed those buttons.

The sonnet says,

he binged on wine and sinful chocolate cake,
helpless, possessed by fleshly appetite,
his one concern, the shape his flesh would take.

I realize that wine is not harmful for everyone and that chocolate cake may be “sinfully good” without being sinful in any other way.  They happen to be problems for the character in the sonnet, but readers should interpret them merely as symbols of whatever similar substances, activities or thoughts have the same effect for them.

What is it in your life that hooks you and makes you think, say or do something that you know is not good for you?  What makes you feel helplessly possessed by desire to some degree, however small?  What swings your focus onto your ego or surface self?  What makes you overly concerned about your appearance or any other superficial means toward feeling worthy of approval in others’ eyes or your own?

The last line talks about dirt, and that’s one of the jokes in this poem.  You can see in the video that I am treating lightly and humorously this heavy and important spiritual topic.  The poem is about the dirty little secrets we all have, the weaknesses, flaws and foibles we would rather hide.  It is about throwing open the curtains and windows and letting light and fresh air get in to expose the dirt for what it is and then transform it.

The usefulness of the poem is exactly the opposite of making us feel guilt and shame.  A good organic gardener will have weeds that need to be pulled.  That is part of the job—dealing with a natural occurrence that is not bad, not sinful, not anything to feel guilty or ashamed about, but something that is counterproductive to a garden’s beautiful fruitfulness.

Every once in a while the weeds will get ahead of the gardener.  That’s life.  Again, it’s not an occasion for guilt or shame, but for understanding and compassion and, yes, if possible, a sense of humor.

Coleman Barks’ translation of the Rumi poem entitled “The Guest House” captures this delightfully.  It ends:

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

(Click here to read the entire short poem.  If you don’t know it, I highly recommend it.  It’s a treasure!)

So where is the “guide from beyond” in the sonnet, “Eradicating Endlessly,” leading us?

To have humility and accept the dirt and the unhealthy, unwanted plants that naturally keep sprouting in our very human humus.

And then to get down on our knees and pull more root.

It’s just part of the job of being a gardener, tending the growth of our true self, clearing the way for the Spirit so that we can fulfill our calling and use our gifts and our entire life to bear the fruit the universe needs of us.

The Greek word “kenosis” is what we call self-emptying in the Christian spiritual tradition.  The concept is not exclusively or originally Christian—it is at the core of every contemplative path, every form of meditation, every process of seeking the oneness that is the most mature stage and state of human development.

If you want to grow horticulturally, you will need to practice weed-control; if you want to grow spiritually, you will need to practice self-emptying.

It will be a struggle sometimes, but as Swahili wisdom puts it, “celebrate the struggle!”  You might as well greet the weeds laughing as they sprout in your soul.

You will probably reach your goal sooner if you can do it from a place of humor and compassion rather than guilt and shame.  You will probably get more skillful more quickly at eradicating the dirty-secret thought-roots before they become action-fruits if you are not also having to eradicate the more pernicious ego-weeds that stem from taking yourself too seriously or pridefully.

I hope this sonnet will help you remember to do your work cheerfully, or at least to do your work!  And I hope you will find it useful to remember that you are not alone in that garden.  We’re on our knees right alongside you, day in and day out, and will be forever, celebrating the struggle.  Happy eradicating!

Eradicating Endlessly

He meant to write about a sick plant’s death,
and how he pulled its roots up from the pot,
and how the hole it left inhaled fresh breath
and gained new life, refilled with rich, dark rot.
He thought to symbolize his ego’s rout,
how he effected its eradication
and nurtured his true self—aversion, doubt,
attachment, gone! A fertile, new creation!
He would have written that, except last night
he binged on wine and sinful chocolate cake,
helpless, possessed by fleshly appetite,
his one concern, the shape his flesh would take.
His worst self sprouts another fat, pale shoot.
His hand sinks back in dirt to pull more root.

copyright 2021 Thomas Cary Kinder

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